Here, There, and Everywhere

So, Michelle Bachman doesn't know the difference between Concord New Hampshire and Concord Massachusetts. Big deal. There are so many other things to object to about Michelle Bachman that her ignorance of New England history and geography shouldn't even be a blip on anyone's radar.

Ms. Bachman was in New Hampshire to investigate her presidential prospects. She should be thinking about moving up. Last year, a heavily Republican one, she was re-elected with 52% of the vote in her Minnesota district. She must be feeling vulnerable about her Congressional chances in 2012.

The Koch brothers, those wonderful fellows, are said to have made another nine billion dollars recently. They might have made more, but they spent some of their money financing Republican candidates for public office. Those politicians, now in office, are trying to reduce the Koch brothers' tax burden. Money wisely spent. My question to the brothers is, "What can you possibly afford with another nine billion simoleons that you couldn't afford before?" All I can think of is a quote from Homer on a Simpsons episode: "I want two Hawaiian islands - good ones, not the leper ones."

During the time I have spent writing these three paragraphs, CNN has aired two commercials supporting the Republican position for repeal of the health care reform act and opposing the public sector unions. They take a speech by a union lawyer, clearly taken way out of context, to support the idea, and claim these unionized employees make 42% more in wages and benefits than non-union workers. Is this class warfare or what? Even setting aside the idea that this should inspire people to join unions rather than destroy them, the statistic is misleading in that the non-union employees include unskilled people, whereas government workers by and large are laboring in skilled positions.

This morning I walked down to the barber shop and, for a change of pace, got a buzz cut. If anyone is casting a play or movie about Superman, I'm available to play Lex Luthor. It's the first time I've had such a short haircut since I "cowboyed up" for the Red Sox in 2004. Actually the image of the cowboy is perfect for Boston, because, as we all know, Massachusetts is famous for its cowboys. If history is investigated thoroughly, we'll find that the Puritans were all a bunch of rootin' tootin' buckaroos. Just ask Michelle Bachman.

My brother-in-law, Dave Roper, has correlated global warming with increased earthquake and volcanic activity. The theory is that as glacial ice melts, downward pressure on the land mass decreases, and the land begins to rise, stressing the tectonic plates, which in turn brings about the shifts associated with the quakes and eruptions. Of course, volcanoes spew hot gases and ash into the atmosphere, causing more warming. Now, before Michelle Bachman tells us that all the global warming is either a hoax or a completely natural process that doesn't require any action by us, I'll just say we are the one variable in the equation. We can slow or stop the greenhouse effect, nature will not.

A puppet on tv is telling me I can settle my unpaid tax burden for much less than I actually owe. Why would anyone trust a puppet to keep him out of jail? Maybe we should refer the Koch brothers to the puppet.

Part of the Koch brothers' fortune comes from the manufacture and sale of toilet paper. Think of them whenever you're on your little throne and especially as you use their product.