Grammar Guy, that sourge of the illiterate and the self-satisfied, is back to continue his lonely struggle against misuse of the mother tongue. Today he tackles the ways in which we express ourselves in order to justify our bad behavior.
First of all, Grammar Guy wants us all to know he is never stubborn. He is tenacious. That is, if anyone rejects Grammar Guy's advice, that person is stubborn. If, on the other hand, Grammar Guy won't accept someone else's advice, Grammar Guy is tenacious.
Grammar Guy knows that just a little self-justification - a dash is all it takes - can make a virtue from almost any vice. Grammar Guy, for example, is never proud. Pride is a vice. Instead, our literate hero is confident.
See how easy it is? Grammar Guy is not impotent, he's chaste. He's not just a greedy bastard, he's thrifty. Jealousy is not becoming for Grammar Guy, but good healthy ambition is something he clings to.
A little more rationalization makes one eligible to participate in politics! No, no, no, no American would use all his money and influence, no matter how obtained, to dodge taxation. That's not being un-patriotic. It's being a "wealth creator." Similarly, anyone who objects to lower taxes for wealthy people isn't trying to create a more just society, that person is fomenting "class warfare."
Grammar Guy knows that his acolytes will think of other examples all by themselves. Therefore, he says adieu for now, secure in the knowledge that he's not too lazy to write anymore, he's taking a well-deserved rest.
And, happy Thanksgiving to one and all.
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