An Apostate Catholic

Shortly after moving to Colorado back in 2005, I stopped attending mass. There are a number of reasons why I became a Catholic in name only, and why I'm now considering starting to participate in the faith again.

First of all, let me say my rejection of the forms of the Catholic tradition had little to do with the sex scandals that erupted in the 1990's. Personally, I think the celibacy rule for priests is just silly and in fact contradicts the roots of the Christian tradition. Peter, after all, was married or widowed and there's no reason to think the other apostles were single men. For that matter, it seems likely to me that Jesus must have been married - otherwise, the implication is that he was gay.

No, the sex scandals were the horrific result of an unrealistic requirement imposed on men who had, or thought they had, a vocation. What troubled me about the church as an institution was first the cover-up of the scandal, which amounted to obstruction of justice, and a tacit willingness to permit pedophiles to continue preying on children, and second the accumulated resources of the church that allowed payment of settlements to the vicitms totaling more than $100 million.

Where'd the church get that kind of money? Every Catholic parish I ever attended periodically claimed it was on the ragged edge of insolvency and begged for greater donations from the faithful. They were sitting on enormous financial resources while "guilting" parishioners who very often were people of modest means, struggling with their own finances. That was a turn-off.

On a less profound level, I have become used to a leisurely Sunday morning spent with a second or third cup of coffee and the Sunday newspaper. Mass can't compete with the Los Angeles Times crossword puzzle. Since I work on Saturdays and Mondays, Sunday became a day of rest in the literal sense and I have enjoyed not having to get dressed and go anywhere.

But after half a decade away, I'm thinking of going back. Part of my reasoning is that attending a time honored activity is what we once called a "warm fuzzy," that is a group gathering that takes us back to childhood, back to happy times now recollected as life begins its inexorable passage to its inexorable end.

Another part of the same feeling comes from the commandment, "Honor thy father and thy mother." My dad especially was what we used to describe as "More Catholic than the pope." Dropping back into the forms of the faith is a way of remembering them both and paying homage to their way of life.

Even more than that, I feel a real resurgence of the idea of a social gospel now. After decades of individualist Christianity, we once again are seeing what I believe is the true essence of the faith, the simple thought that we are our brothers' (and sisters') keepers and are commanded to help one another in this world, rather than emphasize a world to come that is attained by a head in the clouds type of faith. I guess I reject Lutheranism and fundamentalist Christianity all in the same breath here. And I'm not speaking about getting on the building committee or anything like that. What I mean is the old "corporal works of mercy" - feeding the hungry, giving comfort to the sick, seeking justice. Following, in short, the Sermon on the Mount.

So maybe I'll get involved in the church again. Meanwhile, what's a seven letter word for "collectibles from faraway lands?" The second letter is x.