Governor Rod

So, yesterday I was sitting in the radiology waiting room at a hospital in Aurora Colorado, waiting for my mother-in-law to have an IV procedure. Local television was on, and suddenly the news department broke into whatever entertainment had been playing to cover the arrival of Rod Blagojevich (And aren't you all just impressed that I can spell "Blagojevich?") at the Denver airport and his travel to the federal minimum security prison in Jefferson County where he will serve fourteen years or less.  "Blogo" as the newspapers dubbed him, was convicted on corruption charges after he tried to auction the senate seat vacated by Barack Obama, after Mr. Obama resigned to become president.

The tv cameras and reportage documented Blogo's last meal as a free man at a burger joint and his arrival at the prison. They speculated that he would be processed into the prison during the early afternoon. By that time, my mom-in-law was finished with her blood-letting, so I couldn't stay with the news report, riveting as it was.

But I imagined what Rod must have been going through. After a warm welcome by the warden, the ex-governor would be measured for his suit of day-glo orange, very becoming, and his pairs of prison shoes. The prison doctor and dentist would be summoned to give the new guest of the federal government a complete diagnostic exam.

There would be a tour, featuring the library and recreational facilities, and then Blogo would be escorted to his suite. It would have to be explained that there is no maid service in the big house, the inmates are expected to do their own dusting and tidying, but there is a plumber on call in case there are any problems with the toilet, sink or jacuzzi. Then our boy would be left alone for the afternoon, with only a menu for the evening meal to occupy his time until cocktail hour.

It isn't really like that, of course. Though Blogo hasn't gone to a "federal pound-you-in-the-ass" prison, like the ones mentioned with dread in the movie "Office Space," I'm sure his accomodations will not be luxurious. The jailers are disinclined to be polite. There is not a whole lot to relieve a prisoner's boredom.

As it happens, when I was chief ranger at Richmond National Battlefield Park, I made a visit to the Petersburg Federal Minimum Security Prison in search of volunteer labor for the park. The prison had no walls, no guard towers and no armed guards that I can recall.  The inmates were described to me as doctors incarcerated for defrauding Medicare, and lawyers, accountants and brokers of various sorts who had been unable to tell the difference between clients' money and their own.

I asked the warden if there would be an escape problem and he claimed there had not been a walk-away for years. When I wondered why not, he said the inmates all knew that if they left and were caught they'd be re-sentenced to the medium security prison in Saint Louis - a much tougher house. Prisoners are prohibited from doing any professional work. Instead, there is manual labor at absurdly low wages.

Blogo, and the other convicts won't suffer privations in Colorado. Nor will they be in much danger from the guards or each other. But it isn't camp cupcake either. Good-bye, Governor Rod, it's wrong to try to sell a senate seat, as you probably know by now. Hope you can put some kind of life together when you're eventually released.

By the way, my mother-in-law is feeling a little better today.