A Catch-22

She's back. That 40ish slender lady in the pantsuit who appears in commercials, telling us how wonderful off-shore oil drilling is. Faithful readers might remember I mentioned how the oil companies pulled their ads off the airwaves last year after the BP rig caught fire, eleven men were killed, numerous others were injured, and an enormous oil spill befouled the Gulf of Mexico.

Now she's back, proof that the oil companies think we all have short memories and are more concerned with the price of oil than we are with worker safety or the environment. Our lady tells us that oil platforms now can tap into many undersea locations and many people are employed by the oil companies. Oil exploration means jobs!

Recently I read Catch-22 again. It's my favorite novel, filled with biting satire and ridicule of the venality and greed that dominates the lives of so many among us. One of the characters in the novel is Milo Minderbinder, a pilot who volunteers for duty as mess officer (thereby getting out of combat) and proceeds to make a fortune for himself supplying best quality food for the army. Alas for Milo, he is overcome by his own cupidity, buys the entire cotton crop of Egypt, and cannot resell any of it. Faced with financial ruin he even goes so far as to coat cotton wads with chocolate and try to palm it off on the men as cotton candy.

It doesn't work of course. The men can't digest cotton in any form, literally cannot stomach Milo's schemes. In desperation, Milo approaches Captain Yossarian for advice. Yossarian tells Milo to sell the cotton to the government, and when Milo explains the government won't buy the cotton, Yossarian simply says, "Bribe it."

Yossarian goes on to tell Milo that he'll need to smooth things over with a public relations campaign. "If you get into trouble, just say a cotton speculating business means a stronger America."

"It does," Milo claimed earnestly. "A strong Egyptian cotton speculating business does mean a much stronger America."

"If that doesn't work, say that many Americans depend on it for income."

"Many Americans do depend on it for income," Milo said haughtily.

"See, you're much better at it than I am," Yossarian said. "You almost make it sound as if it's true."

"It is true!" Milo exclaimed and started off to sell Egyptian cotton to the unsuspecting taxpayers.

I mention Milo's shenanigans as a parallel to the propaganda campaign the oil companies are now launching to help us forget the human and environmental costs of what they do. After all, a strong oil drilling operation in the Gulf of Mexico means a much stronger America. Also, many Americans do depend on it for income. (But not as many Americans as depend on shrimp or other seafood caught in the Gulf.)

Next week we'll look at the coal industry.